just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Farmville is her only friend.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public