I faked an abortion last night.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT