dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.