Soap is not a condiment
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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