My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
