Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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