i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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