You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
