Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
