It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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