Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
