today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Who died my cat blue again?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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