How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
