someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
