yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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