You're earring is so big in my mouth
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
