i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
