I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
