It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize