he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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