i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
