Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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