babies were throwing up all over the place
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize