Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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