My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize