the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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