I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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