you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
