I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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