You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize