Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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