I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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