pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
its liver damage thursday
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
