I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
