I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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