Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
