Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize