You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
