It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
