i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
