just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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