mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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