yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
