I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
