no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
