Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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