when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
