my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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