Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
