let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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