He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
