She's JV to your varsity
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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