my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So vagazzling was a success
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
