You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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