that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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