I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
