i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I can feel your judgement through the phone
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
