it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
