Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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