my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
