Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
