Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
