Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Randomize
